Are We There Yet?

Waiting for an injury to heal is seriously the pits. I can think of few things that drive me crazier than this; there’s something about being held back by only one little twinge that makes me feel like a caged animal. This time, it’s my foot. I put it down awkwardly a few weeks ago and felt a crazy pain on the outside of my left foot, near the bottom of the foot and not the top. First thought? OH NO FRACTURE WHYYYYYY? But there was zero swelling, zero bruising, you could bend the bones, etc. So I stupidly ran on it, and felt no pain while running. In fact, I only felt pain when standing on it after sitting.

But it got worse as I ran on it, so I knew I had to stop for a while. Still no bruising or swelling, could still bend the bones, etc. and it very quickly became clear that I had a strain or a tear somewhere. So for the past few weeks I’ve been doing elliptical and long walks on the treadmill every day, not pushing my resistance or speed. I AM SO BORED.

Yesterday I noticed that my foot felt better. Could it be??? Could I really be in the home stretch??? Today, no pain. I’m going to give it another week of zero/low impact exercise just to be safe and hopefully resume running next week. I need to get back into the game so that I can run during our upcoming vacation(s). It’s just a waiting game now. I can’t wait to run again and be able to add mountain climbers and jumping jacks back into my body strength routines.

Not much else to talk about, really. Trying desperately to get my daughter on a two nap schedule, but she goes from accepting it to fighting it depending on the direction of the breeze -_- So that’s fun! She has 4 teeth now, which is so strange to me. I forgot how big the top teeth are in comparison to the bottom teeth when the baby is so small, so it blew my mind when I saw them break through. She’s on 4 bottles a day but eating more solids so she fights the bottles quite a bit these days.

Teddy is growing and growing which each passing day. He’s now 100% potty trained and will leave his bed to go pee on his own during the night/morning now. He comes downstairs on his own when he’s ready, knows what cereals he prefers for breakfast, and knows how to get Sesame Street playing on the apple tv. He is not alone for mornings, of course, but having him know how to do these things without my assistance is a huge help for me while I wrangle Little Lady Fusspot McGee. He also does chores now! There are seven daily tasks for him on his little magnet board and if he completes 5, he receives fifty cents. If he completes all seven tasks, he gets a Euro to put into his piggy bank. He can use his money to buy whatever toys he wants! He loves it, and the tasks are relatively simple but teach him how to contribute to the household as well as do things on his own.

So that’s the news for now!

Reflections on America (and Germany, too!)

Yesterday was the 4th of July, and also just past the two year mark of our moving to Germany. Have I learned anything (about myself, about Germany, about travel, about…anything)? Of course. I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and written it all out, though. So that’s what I’ll do today while Teddy is in school and Fiona hangs out with her Daddy (yay long weekend!).

First things first, my love song to America. I’ve always loved America, with all of her successes and failures. I’ve never doubted my love for her. I sure as shit took her for granted, though. Silly little things like culinary options, food delivery, shopping on Sundays, not having to drive 40 minutes to get to the one Indian restaurant in the “area”. I miss actual, honest to God high speed internet and 4G phone service I miss seeing people of different ethnic backgrounds, and I miss not being looked at funny for obviously being mixed race (or darker in general). I miss being smiled at on the rare occasion that I might make eye contact with a stranger on the street. I miss going out to eat (even at a Panera-style place) and not being stared at, as in neck-craning unapologetic staring. I miss the heat of a ridiculous American summer, made better by ridiculous American air conditioning systems pumping cold air at my face when I need it most. I love all the different flavors of America, particularly that Jersey/NY one that can’t be replicated no matter how hard the rest of the country might try (I’m looking at you, midwestern “pizza”). The drastic changes in scenery as we drove from Albuquerque back to NJ. I miss the tunnels through the mountains in Pennsylvania and the twisting of the highway through the mountains in West Virginia. I miss summers at Lake Carnegie, sitting lazy in the heat with ice cream from Thomas Sweet or a cheesesteak from Hoagie Haven, dripping grease and ketchup while the geese chase you around. The boardwalk down the shore, the smell of funnel cake and zeppole and french fries, the sound of carnival games bleating out over the roar of the waves. The same reliable three tunes played by the ice cream man and italian ice man interchangeable from their trucks while they drive down every street I’ve ever hung out on or lived on. I watch stupid movies like the Patriot and Independence Day and dammit, I’m moved by them. America is MINE. I am proud of her. I’ll always be proud of her.

I was going to follow this ridiculously sappy paragraph up with the things I like about Germany, but to be frank it is currently 55 degrees, I can’t open my windows, and I’m so cold that I legit can’t warm myself up no matter how many layers I pile on. IT IS THE FIFTH OF JULY. I feel no love right now. I can handle the unique quirks of this gorgeous land when my soul isn’t being crushed by the weight of zero warmth. As for right now? Please, send me home.

I’m Fairly Certain…

…that my son is trying to drive me into a mental institution. Granted, his fourth year has been kinder than his third. His third year made me wonder if perhaps all of my years as a hashtagBadCatholic were catching up to me. At four, he is sweet and smart and precocious but oh so incredibly hyper on weekends. It’s the hyperactivity and the flailing of giant preschooler limbs that drives me nuts. While he’s in school during the week, it’s amazing! German kindergarten keeps him in line and calm; he comes home worn out by play and full on wholesome nutritious snacks and meals. I love it. The weekends? The weekends are the work of the Devil.

Anyhoochie, it’s my day of rest and I’m getting twitchy. I know my body needs the rest, but since I’m not running in order to let my foot heal up (more on that in a moment), I feel like I haven’t really done as much as I normally do. That, of course, is bullshit. It’s just lower impact things that I’ve been doing…but my body doesn’t feel it the same way, I guess. I’ll walk very slowly on my treadmill later just to get SOME movement.

The other sucky thing about rest days is the lower calorie count; I have to eat less! WAH! I also have to watch my sodium intake a bit more, since my rest day is always the day before my weekly weigh in. So basically, I’m struggling to think of low-cal options that don’t have salt. I love salt! I never liked salt in the past, but after my pregnancy with Fiona I’ve become sort of fond of it. Boo hiss. Granted, I do have sea salt so that’s a plus. Right now I’m thinking I’ll have a bowl of pasta, butter, and red pepper for lunch and an egg and cheese sandwich on a multigrain english muffin for dinner. Snacks are sort of up in the air today, but I picked up some of those nifty Keebler cookie thins at the commissary yesterday so I’d like to try them!

We don’t really go to the commissary very often because it’s about 30-40 minutes away in both directions, which is a bit much to drive. Our base is a German base, so we don’t have any commissary or BX here but we do have the stores on the German economy. You can get most ingredients pretty easily! Sometimes you need to make adjustments (chicken broth exists, but it’s jarred and not canned), but for the most part it’s doable. Processed foods are available at Spang when we need them, so the rare cookie thin purchase is sort of fun.

So. My foot. I put my foot down awkwardly a few weeks ago (not while working out, weirdly enough) and it’s been hurting ever since. No bruising, no swelling, I can absolutely walk on it…so I’m gonna guess it’s not a break. I can even run on it! But I’m not running on it anymore, because it wasn’t getting better. It wasn’t getting worse, but it wasn’t improving. Now I’m sticking to the elliptical and walking on the treadmill (slowly) and it’s improving day by day. I’m getting twitchy to run again. The elliptical is ok as an in between thing when I’m able to run, but when it’s my only source of real cardio, it’s tedious.

I’ve been wishing for a stationary bike lately, but to be frank there’s just no room here. I need to wait til we’re stateside and have a designated room for our home gym. As it stands, our treadmill, elliptical, and strength mats (as well as my yoga mats) are in a corner of our living room. Blech. I guess I could go use the “family gym” on base with Fiona, but she’s so small and I can just tell she’ll get pissed if I try it. Who knows. Maybe I’ll give it a whirl. Spin is something I’m pretty interested in!

Food, Glorious Food!

I wanted to talk a little bit about the cooking “journey” that I’ve gone on since we moved to Germany. Before living here, I was generally a lazy cook. Lots of high-sodium pre-made meals for us, and lots of foods ordered in. I really didn’t eat veggies…I was scared of onions (since childhood!) and tomatoes (same deal). I didn’t eat peppers, and I certainly couldn’t handle spice. Black pepper made me blush. I’m half Indian (like…from India), so that’s pretty embarrassing. Meanwhile my Polish husband and Irish father consume vindaloo without breaking a sweat.

Since moving here, I’ve begun eating veggies like a mad woman. I can’t imagine my life without various forms of onion and tomato. I love beans. I adore pepper! Most importantly? SPICE. HEAT. I’ve begun ordering Indian food at medium instead of mild and cooking with chili powder/cayenne, as well as using red pepper flakes on almost all of my food! I’ve begun a love affair with sriracha. My favorite thing to make right now is Bang Bang Sauce. There’s always a container of it in the fridge now! For those interested, the recipe that I use is as follows:

• 1/2 cup mayo (you can use light, but I prefer it with the real thing)
• 2 TBSP Asian style sweet chili sauce
• 1 TBSP sriracha
• 2 tsp seasoned rice vinegar

Whisk it all together and voila! I put it on freaking EVERYTHING. My favorite thing to put it on is a nice baked potato, but we also love it on zoodles lightly sauteed, egg sandwiches, veggie burgers, chicken sandwiches…you name it. OH! TUNA! I mix it in with my tuna and throw it on a wheat sandwich thing and it’s the yummiest thing ever.

Because of this, my culinary world has opened up. I’ve really been freezer cooking a lot, using our freezer in the basement. Mainly chicken meals, because chicken freezes so well! I do bbq pulled chicken, sweet asian chili chicken, chicken chili. I’ve made chicken tikka masala in the crockpot twice now, which was fantastic! That one doesn’t freeze because of the yogurt/cream in it…but holy crap it’s delicious.

Another new discovery has been the airfryer. It’s HUGE. I mean this thing takes up a LOT of counterspace…but it’s priceless. We make french fries, chicken tenders, chicken patties and nuggets, mozzarella sticks, gyoza…basically anything you can think of, we make in it with ZERO oil! I love french fries (that’d be my Irish half taking over with the love of potatoes in every incarnation), and now I can have them whenever and all I need to account for is the nutritional value in the fries themselves and not the oil.

Looking forward, I’m not sure what new things I’d like to try cooking. I’d like to try my hand at more pasta dishes and sauces. Maybe some casseroles, because those are always so nice and easy for the days when my family runs me halfway to ragged. I’ll have to remember to snap some pics in the future to share here!

FitMom v2.0

Here we go again, folks.

I’m really not terribly out of shape, but I took 9 months off from running and lifting, so it’s time to kick some ass! While pregnant with Fiona, I did the elliptical almost every day but with zero resistance to protect my stupid hips. I stayed svelte! It was great. I also did light arm weights, but I have always hated free weights as well as weight machines, so it totally sucked for me. Fast forward to my little baggadonuts being born…PPA. Big time struggle. I couldn’t move, I ate like shit, I drank a lot, I smoked too many cigarettes. Rocketed up to 150 lbs. Got on meds, wahoo! All is good now, but I’m fed up with my body. I’m at about 145 I think.

So here we are! What’s the plan? I’m building my run distance back up, slow and safe. I’m actually taking this week off because I tweaked something in my foot and I’d like to play it safe. I’m doing body weight exercises almost every day using the Streaks Workout app on our Apple TV. I’m going to start a few Blogilates challenges for July to see how the help…I’m thinking arms and inner thighs. I’ll take before and after pics for July, too.

It’s a struggle but I’m ready to get back there. Bonus reasoning: we are spending all of September abroad and I want to eat eat eat to my heart’s content (with some running thrown in there, too!). I’m not really comfortable with posting the details of our trip(s) until after we take them, given all the mess that’s been happening over here…but rest assured, I will have updates after the fact.

Speaking of food…am I dieting? HELL NO. I don’t believe in low carb or low fat or low cal or any of that bullshit. I believe in the science of CICO (calories in calories out) and eating to meet your needs (higher carbs when I need to feed my longer runs! Real sugar and real fats! Protein and fiber and rounded nutrition, oh my!). I hold myself accountable for what I eat, I keep track of it all (tracking is the key for me), and I eat to match my activity levels. I refuse to compromise that and I will NOT be trying your bullshit MLM pills, shakes, wraps, and the like, nor will I be trying a “detox”, “flush”, no carb, paleo, whole food BS diet plan. Is incorporating paleo or whole food recipes into my food repertoire fun? Yup, of course! But following something unsustainable in order to lose weight is not something that I have any interest in. Similarly, if I hear “gluten free” from somebody without Celiac’s disease, I will scream. You either have Celiac’s or you don’t. Phew. Glad to have gotten that out of the way. YAY FOOD! ALL FOOD! FOOD FOOD FOOD!

So that’s that! Staying in shape while overseas with a 4 year old and a 7 month old is going to be a struggle, but I’m confident that I can do it. I’m excited to blog about it, as well. It was fun to keep track via the blog last time, but I was already in shape when I started. So this time, it’ll chronicle a bit of the journey to getting back to where I was. I’m not terribly far off, but I’ve got some real work ahead of me. Cheers to getting back in shape and staying accountable!

Welcome to the world, sweetest girl

Fiona Ruth K was born via successful VBAC on December 1, 2015 at 11:05am CET. Water broke at 3am while I was in bed, and we arrived at the hospital right in time for active labor to begin. Fifteen minutes of pushing and a small episiotomy later, and my darling little daughter was here…a very quick and overwhelming experience.

She is perfect; lazy and sweet, dark haired and dark eyed (so far…they are slate gray), calm and observant. Her big brother worships the ground she drools on, and her Daddy is already wrapped around her little finger. As for me? I am so beyond smitten, it’s ridiculous.

I’m recovering well so far, but days 3-5 were truly the worst pain I can remember. C-section recovery was easier for me because the climax of pain was immediately after surgery; standing for the first time and taking the first shower. After that, it wasn’t so bad and it definitely got better each day without getting worse. That being said, I had a planned c-section with a remarkably smooth recovery compared to most people. For me, the swelling around the stitches on day 5 after my VBAC was crippling. I couldn’t walk. I cried to Eric about what a mistake I had made and questioned why anyone would EVER choose this over major abdominal surgery. Because logic. Then I woke up on Day 6 and could suddenly walk standing up straight. Each day has been an improvement, even when small.

Anyway, I’d love to write a longer entry but I’m tired and a glass of wine is calling my name! Here she is, in all of her snoozy fuzzy glory 🙂

2/3 of the way done!

Wow, it’s been nearly two months since I’ve updated. I’m an ass, please forgive me! Life has been nonstop for weeks now, and it shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. Honestly, the baby coming in November is the least chaotic timeframe we’ve got on our agenda!

July was a fun month, but boy howdy was it HOT. We’ve had like four heat waves this summer, which is unheard of for central Europe. To say that I was uncomfortable throughout the heatwaves would be an understatement; at one point, I was crying and had frozen icepacks laid out on me with a fan pointed at my body. Teddy seemed to do ok with the heat, even though he was sweating buckets in his sleep. His room is like a sauna, and he refused to sleep anywhere else.

My family came out to visit in July as well! My dad, sister, and brother all came out for a week and it was SO MUCH FUN. We hiked all over, saw castles, explored Ulmen and Bernkastel (my favorite town in Germany!), and ate lots and lots of food. I was an emotional wreck when they left, though. Seriously, I didn’t “recover” for three days. Next up is Eric’s family in two weeks! His parents will be alone with us for four days and then the rest of the family gets to Germany and they’ll be staying in Cochem and traveling around.

Teddy is just…amazing. He’s amazing. He’s a kid now, not so much a toddler, and it’s blowing my mind. I feel like he’s grown in such huge ways in the space of the last month or two and I don’t know how to process it. He expresses himself without being prompted to and offers insights to things that he sees and hears. He has favorites (songs, shows, foods, juices, people), he has friends, he can use safety scissors and glue sticks and paint. He has moved up a room in kindergarten and is now in the Bee Room (he was previously in the Spatzenast, or sparrow’s nest). He LOVES being with the bigger kids and has so much more freedom there.

I wish the US would take a page from the Germans when it comes to schooling (kindergarten at least). It’s just the coolest thing…he controls when he eats his breakfast; he grabs his bag whenever he wants to and brings it to the cafeteria. If he wants to go outside, he can just walk outside (the whole area is fenced and supervised). He is not discouraged from climbing on the bigger playground equipment (even though it gives me a heart attack to witness), and his room has a loft with a long staircase that he traverses at will. The progress that he’s made at home because of all of this freedom is just plain astounding. I feel like in the US, kids are so coddled and protected in preschool compared to this. It’s detrimental, in my opinion. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to have him experience all of this here instead of there, and I’ve got regrets that Fiona won’t have the same option!

Speaking of Fiona, she is doing GREAT! We are a few days away from the third trimester; how is that even possible? It feels unreal. She is small like mommy, with her legs measuring in line with the rest of her unlike Teddy who had legs measuring a week or so ahead the whole entire time. She is head down and punching me in the cervix constantly, which is awkward and uncomfortable but I’m grateful for the reminders of her presence…even if it makes walking around in public weird. Her feet are all up in my rib cage, which is interesting. Once in a while I’ll get jabbed directly in the floating rib and it makes me pause, but for the most part the rolls and twitches come in the front of the belly. She responds to pokes and prods now, too! She is active and sweet already.

Took my GD test last week and am waiting to hear back. Basically, no news is good news but I’m not holding my breath. I’m genetically predispositioned to both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes AND I had GD with my first pregnancy, though it was mainly just monitored and only required insulin for a week or two at the end. I would not be shocked to have it again this time, even with my healthy diet and exercise…but now it’s a waiting game. I wish I knew what the window of time to hear back was. I’m going to assume that if I don’t hear by the weekend, alle ist gut!

Staying on top of fitness. Not thrilled with gaining weight, but realizing that it’s part of the process in the second and third trimester especially.

So that’s really that!

I am the worst, I’m sorry.

Life has gotten away from me, I promise to update now! Going to take some time to type one up today 🙂

It’s a…

GIRL!!!!!!!!!

Fiona Ruth K., we absolutely can not wait to meet you. My little mermaid, swimming and kicking around.

Oops! Time for an update.

I have been so bad at updating this the past few weeks…sorry! The truth is that not much has really happened. Ok, that’s a lie…plenty has happened, but nothing that I’m not familiar with now that this is my second child (and fifth pregnancy).

First things first…I am officially in the 2nd trimester! WA HOO! I’m about 18 weeks now, and my anatomy scan is in two days. I’m nervous, as I always am going into a scan; I’m always worried that something will be wrong. Also hoping to find out the sex of this little bambino/bambina! We have our names picked out, and I’m getting antsy about finding out what it is…and seriously, if my doc can’t figure it out on Thursday, I’ll have to wait until the end of July for another shot! JULY! So there’s that.

My belly popped, finally. I am carrying much smaller than with Teddy, but I’m also much smaller in terms of my weight so I guess that’s no big surprise. Another fun thing about moving into the 2nd tri is that I’m no longer sick 24/7, and I’m no longer on progesterone suppositories that make it even worse. What this means is that I’m able to be active again! I’ve been doing the elliptical (slowly) about four or five days a week, doing light yoga and light free weights after as well. It feels GOOD. Of course, it was too late to ward off some weight gain thanks to the first trimester from Hell…but I’ll take what I can get. My hips are awful, but if I adjust them throughout the day it’s not unbearable.

And the biggest news of all: WE HAVE MOVEMENT! It started as flutters, but barely. I honestly think I felt flutters maybe once or twice. Next up was stretches…it felt like my baby was a swimmer, kicking off of the pool wall to start another lap. I do NOT remember that with Teddy! Now it’s stretches and pitter patters and stomach-turning flips. Please stop flipping, little baby, we would like your cord to stay in one place. Baby likes to flip the moment I start moving on the elliptical, which is in turn both cute and absolutely nauseating. I still use my doppler every night because a.) German OBs don’t let you hear the heartbeat until like…third trimester, so this is my only chance to actually hear it and b.) the movement still isn’t frequent enough to completely put me at ease.

So that’s that! In other fun news, we switched to a different “VPN” method and can now watch huluplus and US netflix on our tv sets. GAME CHANGED. Thank goodness, too, because I need my trashy US tv show fix. 😉